Obama to announce czar czar

Picture of President Obama Wright, Ayers top list of candidates

An insider, speaking under the condition of anonymity, disclosed that the president was steaming over criticism of questionable backgrounds of many of his appointees, forcing resignations by some. "What do they expect me to do, run things myself?" he was quoted as asking. "I mean, we must have, what, 40 or 50 czars now, and I need more. How the hell am I supposed to check all those people out?"

After blaming Rush Limbaugh for stirring up trouble, the president asked for suggestions. One staffer suggested having a single person responsible for selecting future czars. Our insider reported that Obama laughed when the staffer said, "He would be sort of a czar czar." He also warned the staffer about using sexist language. The president loved the idea, however, and a person will be named as soon as an appropriate title is decided upon. Mr. Obama thought that "czar czar" sounded too much like a drug and he rejected "super czar", concerned that someone might use that to equate his administration to a comic book. He bristled at the suggestion of "czar god," saying "There can be only one god in this country, and you all had better understand who that is."

The president vowed to personally choose someone completely known and trusted by him who would be above reproach. The most likely choices are rumored to be Rev. Jeremiah Wright and William Ayers.